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My Mom Passed

It was always complicated, this me and you;
You brought me here, and I found your sadness.
Your life’s theme, struggle, defined you
But, your passion and joy in beauty were so present.
I strived to make it easier; I wanted to make you proud;
Fighting for your attention; hoping for your ease;
I confess I never felt enough. The simple words,
“I love you”
Proved to be an ineffective balm.

But, your strength and perseverance were always a touchstone.
You glowed with a fire of commitment and care.
I couldn’t help but bask in that light and appreciate all you became.
You did this on your own terms, and I found my own ways.
Finding my way back to you was a great gift.

The last days were oddly easy. You seemed to have laid a path.
It was not one you shared with others, but confidently strode as your
Gait failed you and your breathing became difficult. That quiet confidence
Never waivered.
In your last moments, you were surrounded by the men who loved you.
Separate, but together at the end, each in his own thoughts; with you, and
Helpless in our efforts to help you. You didn’t need us, but you had us.

You always saw me. I think we got each other in a deep way that we never discussed.
I have you in my hands’ tremors and my stiff-necked resolve; my passion for truth
And my way with words. Your spirit and love continue down the generations. Your
Influence spawned and nurtured the courage of multitudes. But, to me, there will always
Be the knowing smile and the whispered words at the end of an embrace, “You’re a good boy.”